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“Honored to have Samantha Noe as one of our Get Quiet Challenge winners. Her story speaks for itself and something I can relate to in so many ways. Often times vulnerability is seen as a weakness and this is the furthest from the truth. Thank you Sam for opening up and sharing a piece of your journey to get to know the real you. Because of this it gives others authority to do the same and know they are not alone, and best of all it allows you to embrace yourself on a deeper level. Reading your story motivates me to keep up this Get Quiet charge! “ – Dr. T
Samantha Noe’s Get Quiet Journey…
There’s nothing like being barraged by disappointment in a meeting with your boss and feeling so overwhelmed that the only word you can muster up in response is “okay”.
Getting Quiet couldn’t have come at a better time for me. Lately, I find myself at a huge crossroads in my life; buried in the ‘real world’ and trying to find out who I am in order to face those really uncomfortable parts. I had just finished grad school, started a business, and set out on the long journey to becoming a meaningful coach- all at the exact same time. Talk about overwhelming, right? Everything is new to me. I have no clue what I’m doing, and I’m not even sure who I am.
I work out of a CrossFit box, where I had been apprenticing for many months as a coach. The owner, my friend/boss/colleague has been such an extremely supportive role model. She has put invaluable time into showing me how to be a good leader, a solid coach, and has even helped with business. Something just wasn’t working though. We weren’t on the same page but, why? Well, I was shutting down. I tend to put up a total wall when things get tough. It feels like I am drowning. I struggle to effectively “own” or overcome my feelings and actions.
For me, I was grown up on having to “figure it out”. There was no emotion. When I needed helped I had to pretend like I didn’t and just solve problems on my own. No one was there to answer questions or provide any guidance. In my world, vulnerability is weakness. If I was vulnerable or showed emotion, I was very wrong to do so. Because of this, I don’t believe I have a strong ability to process those feelings, so I just shut down- I numb them and go blank and that triggers stress. Well, my boss had figured me out. This caused me to take a step back, get quiet, and learn about myself so that I could move on and we could become a better team.
I turned off my music and all of the noise I often use to tune out my thoughts and numb my feelings. In the words of Brene’ Brown, we’ll call this write-up my “Shitty First Draft” of my downfall. The Get Quiet challenge encouraged me to honestly look at my past, my weaknesses, and myself. In getting quiet I began looking at things a little differently. I must forgive my past and love myself for everything that I am. I take such good care of my body, usually. I eat strictly to treat my autoimmune disease and I exercise daily. Something is missing though. I have found that I need to love my body. I need to love it for every flaw and broken kink that controls me and holds me back. I’m finding that this missing link is my mental health, and finding courage to forgive my past and march on. In this world we are taught that the brain and the body are separate, but how screwed up is that? I am beginning to recognize how important it is to address those pieces that often are too uncomfortable to face. Getting quiet is such a great way to begin to address this process.
These things take work and time. I am by no means “there” yet, but I believe I’m on a good road to begin that journey. Getting quiet has helped me see more of what is around me, and has helped me to start to forgive myself for my weaknesses. I have learned to ask questions, get uncomfortable, and take extreme ownership over my actions and my attitude.
